Frozen out of the Market

Here I am sitting at Newark Liberty Airport in Jersey. My Virgin flight to London Heathrow is delayed. I am hungry and of course my name wouldn’t be Emelie (or Natasha) if the only proper restaurant in the airport hadn’t stopped serving food when I arrive. Now I am doomed to “sautéed who could tell” at one of America’s grand food courts. 

I just spent a week in New York.  It was great and it was cold.

Actually it was freezing.

Most Northern Hemisphere inhabitants hibernate in winter.  I do too. I don’t go visit the tower of London in winter. Those crown jewels can wait until summer. It’s the transformation from inhabitant to tourist that makes you think it’s super cool to walk down the Brooklyn Bridge at -3 degrees without the comfort of a boyfriend ski jacket.

I guess I was determined to do the whole sightseeing thing. When I heard one night that they were turning on the lights of the Rockerfeller tree I didn’t hesitate to let New York’s cold slap me in the face again. 

 

I got off at Times Square and walked the remaining blocks to the Rockerfeller. I queued with the rest of the people that thought it would be kinda awesome to see the tree get lit. I didn’t even wince when one of the NYPD chicks barked at me, because I tried to jump the fence. I get impatient sometimes…especially when something exciting is about to happen.

 

At 57th street (after queuing for 1 hour in the f*cking cold) female cop tells my freezing existence to go home. No one else can go through anymore.

 

She adds: “Don’t believe the hype. Check it out on television nice and warm.” 

whatever bitch…I hope you choke on that donut.

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I hate talking about men all the time. Why do females always feel the need to bring up the other red meat? I don’t know…you can’t have all the answers in life…but what I do know is that NYC has some fresh men. The type that exudes cool and swagger; the Brooklyn brand.

 

I guess they don’t really like the cold either? I didn’t see them. I know they are there. I mean they have to be, we know they are not in London.

 

They were probably all cuddled up keeping those limbs oiled with a skank ho Manhattan bitch, waiting for Emelie to return in summer.

Should you lower your standards just because you like fries?

These days I spend most of my time behind chat – that’s to say Bloomberg chat – it’s a professional chat to chat about professional things. One day I was bored, so I decided to talk to my colleague Nair. Nair and I talk about $hit – a lot of $hit. I am not sure if even 5% classifies as professional – but then again I have more interesting stuff to talk about during work hours.

 

Nair:  Hey, got to ask you something

Emelie:  Oui

Nair:  Have you found yourself having to lower your standards just to be in a relationship?

 

This is an interesting question. I have been  in London for one-and-a-half years and I am still single and counting.

 

Hmmm I have met men. I have been approached by men…not very hot men.., but I think this deserves an academic paper by itself.

 

* there is a strong inverse correlation between hotness of men and the vicinity of the Greatness of Britain*

 

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I work at a bank and every day around 13.00 I descend down the escalators to get the grub they charge 5 quid for. Outrageous?  I think so, you don’t charge 5 quid for fries and meat. Especially, when the cow clearly died from a heart attack.

 

Wait I digress… 

 

When you want to give your staff haute gross cuisine, you must have people that prepare this cuisine.  People that employ the kitchen, so they can serve the rest of the bank between 12.00 and 14.00.

 

There is this dude that is in charge of the grill. He is a very nice guy from the Caribbean. I often chat with him when I make my daily descend. This particular dude wants my phone number. He wants to call me so we can go on a date. He has made it clear to me that he likes me.

 

Nice guy really…really nice…did I tell you he was nice…great smile…white teeth too…

 

There is only one minor problem…he works in the canteen of the bank I work for. Not only that, but he gets to bake fries whilst he is there too. These are not your average McDonald fries, but at the end of the day poteeeto potaaato same $hit right?

 

I really don’t want to be the token bougie bitch chick, but in all seriousness? I am a schooled sis who expects prefers a schooled brother of some standard. Besides, what do we really have to discuss after work? “Yes darling, at 180.1 degrees the fries are actually baked best. Did you try some this afternoon?”

 

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Since he stands behind the grill all day it is not like he has his cell phone or a piece of paper on hand to write my number down.

 

O yea, I guess I forgot to mention somewhere that I promised him my phone number??

 

Promises don’t write checks. Therefore, although I promised on three different occasions to write my number down for him (which I have done…), I never actually gave it to him.

 

These ninjas they don’t forget you know.  You would think one gets a hint after a while. I think the constant surroundings of heated oil clutters the brain and makes one forget what one should never forget.

 

If you ask a chick for her number three times and she hasn’t given it to you, STOP dreaming and START baking those fries. I have been waiting in this line for ages and I am hungry!

Obama a cassé la Barak!

Martin had a dream you made real sweet.

Barack is Black?

Tomorrow is Election Day in the United States. Although I am not entitled to vote (I am European), I have been keen on following the developments and the eventual outcome of this race.

 

Why?

 

A black man is running (and he might stand a considerable chance of winning).

 

I have been speaking to quite a few of my black American friends and have come across various blogs discussing this subject. There was a recent post on one blog that summarised an opinion that I have heard a lot over the course of this year.

 

“My personal survey shows a good majority of black folks are voting for Obama because he is black. NOT because he is the best candidate. They couldn’t even tell me what issues Obama supports! They pretty much know as much as their co-worker, friend, or stranger on the bus has told them. The same was going on when Hilary was running. A lot of her supporters were on her side because she was a woman. Now woman folks are voting for McCain because of his female assistant. And Palin could be one Clinton intern or Cheney hunting trip away from being President. I understand that you want someone you can identify with, but to vote for someone because they are black or white, male or female, Republican or Democrat is foolish. Would you be voting for Obama if he was white? What about supporting Palin if the first name was Steve instead of Sarah? Whether you are white and voting for Obama or male and supporting Palin, if you are not voting because of their character, but because of their gender and race, then you shouldn’t be voting.” (www.5andpossible.blogspot.com)

 

This female states that there has been more buzz during this election than ever. At the same time she doesn’t approve of people that vote solely on the merit of race and gender. Doesn’t the whole buzz stem from the fact that there is both a female and black democratic nominee this 44th time around?

 

I don’t understand this crack that you should only vote if your desicion is based on character. Character of what kind please? Every four years each candidate has the same recycled story. How they promise to do better and revoke all the f*ck ups of the previous geezer.

 

If you really think about it; did Hillary’s and Obama’s proposed policies really differ that much from one another?

 

I would argue that both of them seemed ‘equipped’ enough to follow up Bush in the White House. You have to suffer from real chronicle retardness to let the United States sink lower than the gutter they are already in. Hence, most people voted for Obama or for Hilary, because he is black and she is a she-male female. Even the most educated amongst educated people cannot deny that race or gender played a role in their decision.

 

In a country where a black man was once a slave of white men and a woman could only open her mouth to eat, they now have a real (yet to be seen) opportunity of becoming the most important person in the United States and the rest of the world.

 

This 44th presidential race is not just about cleaning up the sh*t Bush is leaving behind (I mean how does one go about such a bloody mess?). It is primarily about equality. It is about equal rights for blacks and whites and men and women. It is the audacity of hope that if we can have equality in a presidential race, well maybe we can have it in any other aspect of our lives?

 

Thus, if Barackie is chosen to mount the much desired (who wants that job?) throne and decides to smoke weed for the majority of his 4 year term – he will already be doing a lot better than Bush – at least he will be at peace with the world. All this bla… bla… Is he really going to bring the change he has been promising? I don’t know and neither do you. Many before him have promised and many before him have failed to keep. Give the dude a chance, but don’t expect him to be flying around with a cape like superblack and freeing the United States from all the evils it currently knows.